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TWIN LIZZY

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Posted By : Twin Lizzy | Comments : 10

A typical day on the road behind the scenes with Twin Lizzy. Tour bus (Tranny van) arrives at the hotel (our house). Equipment truck (same van) is loaded with gear and the band travel in the Limousine (same van). The pre-planned detailed route is carefully arranged and scribbled onto a ripped up fag packet. En route, important details are discussed such as: Venue capacity, Stage size, and location of the nearest chippy. It is vitally important to take at least two wrong turnings and ask locals for directions in an effort to totally baffle the driver. The fag packet is then thrown out the window. After several miles and a few bouts of "we should have gone left" etc. we arrive at the gig. The equipment is loaded into the venue and arranged in a totally random fashion making setting up impossible. Five minutes later, the equipment is moved from this location into the correct room and again strewn about haphazardly in a marine assault course. Sound engineers (the band) then plug wires into holes, twiddle some knobs and say "one two testing one two" down the mikes for a bit before going to the bar to await the assembly of the drum kit. The lighting rig is then erected, tested and carefully adjusted to cause the band to be totally blinded during the show. A selected batch of extra wires are then laid across the stage in an attempt to ensure a near fatal accident during a guitar solo. The P.A system is then finely tuned to produce ear splitting feedback as soon as anyone moves, the pyrotechnics (fireworks) are arranged so as to ignite and completely torch anything within a 3 metre radius and finally the last step is to strategically stick a few bits of gaffer tape here and there to make it look good.

Comments


# Posted by Kingpin - 30/05/2008, 00:13 (GMT)
Dont know if anyone else has done this but so many times I have started the 2nd set with a plectrum out of my pocket and forgot there was one in the strings at the first fret...always wondered why it didnt sound right.......


# Posted by On The Edge - 30/05/2008, 08:42 (GMT)
Know what you mean Roger. After the comment 'a gig wouldn't be a gig without Col having to do a U turn I got a SatNav. Now I can shout at that as well as my wife when I cock up.


# Posted by Threefold - 30/05/2008, 16:34 (GMT)
Try drumming and blaming the bass drum mike for not working and then seeing the kick pedal fall to bits mid song i always carry a spare now....another one is boot cut jeans or flares to us oldies absolutely hilarious when the kick pedal beater gets trapped in your jeans leg...into drainpipes now.... LOL


# Posted by viking - 30/05/2008, 18:35 (GMT)
re-threefold-hell yeah!! try getting these "young 'uns" to play wearing 23" flares and platform shoes, specially on a full kit "premier" - great fun -(not!!!) :-O finished up changing to my bike boots-easier!!


# Posted by The Blue Slickers - 02/06/2008, 10:08 (GMT)
You guys have directions on fag packets? I've spent half my adult life wishing I had directions on fag packets...you lucky,lucky...etc
apart from that yes it's like that for us too...except most of our venue's are so small you can only occasionally get the wrong room, sometime you don't get a room, you get an alcove...or just a doorway or a fireplace...a room eh? you lucky,lucky...etc


# Posted by Threefold - 02/06/2008, 15:17 (GMT)
What did the Romans do for us ?


# Posted by The Fabulous Eggs - 06/06/2008, 16:38 (GMT)
Roads sewage law and order another monty python theme Blogjack coming on!!!!!


# Posted by Sandwich Slayer - 06/06/2008, 16:45 (GMT)
and the aquaduct.
Blue Slickers, doorway or fireplace,! Back when i was young we had to get up before we went to bed, play a gig for free in a cardboard box in the middle of the road, lick the box clean after...etc


# Posted by viking - 06/06/2008, 16:58 (GMT)
blogjack? did someone say "blogjack"??
okayyyy!!!
blue slickers- fag packets? FAG Packets?? luxury!! when i were a lad we were lucky to have docker ends for to put t'directions on, we used to set off for t'gig in t'old horse'n'cart, carryin t'equipment on us shoulders cause t'horse were too knackered to do it, when we got to t'gig they'd make us play outside in t'pourin rain for five hours at thruppence a gig wi' only t'barmaids apron as shelter! doorway? fireplace?? luxury, tha' knows!!
sandwich slayer-tha' sees? cardboard box?? LUXURY!!!


# Posted by Keef - 06/06/2008, 22:04 (GMT)
An we you got home yer dad would play back all them songs mentioned on the worst covers thread till you killed yourself, then he would bring you back to life so he could do it all over again after your next gig. How damn inhuman is that !!!!